There was a soft knock at the door. A moment later the door swung gently open and a young woman in her mid-twenties walked in. In one hand she was carrying a drinking glass containing what looked like a vanilla milkshake, garnished with a plastic green straw. In her other hand was a small paper cup containing several assorted pills.
She made delicate steps towards the bed and its sleeping occupant. She would not wake him. She set the drink and the paper cup on the bedside table and sat down quietly in the adjacent chair where she would wait for the patient to awake.
She watched him sleeping and noted how he looked even more withered than he had just a few hours ago. He looked very nearly dead, though she could just barely detect his soft breathing. In fact, he looked as if he had been dead for more than a few days. He was so incredibly thin. He looked like people in those pictures of the holocaust victims. He was nothing more than a skeleton with a layer of skin pulled loosely over it. His eyes were terribly dark and sunken. His skin had a slightly yellow cast to it due to the jaundice. His hair was brown and much longer than he had ever worn it any other time in his life. He would have worn a beard too, except she insisted upon shaving him every morning. She would not allow him to completely let go and give the appearance that he just didn't care anymore, even if that was how he felt.
His hands were resting above the sheets and her eyes were drawn to the ring that hung so loosely on the fourth finger of his left hand. After more than three years she could not get him to remove the ring. And, she thought, what does it matter if he wears it until the end?
Her eyes travelled back up to his face and she gave a quick gasp when she saw that he was looking at her.
"Hello, Joan," he said softly and gave a small smile.
"Hello, Danny," she returned with the same soft smile. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes," he lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. He felt terrible, but the pain had lessened somewhat since his blackout.
"I brought your lunch," she said, nodding her head towards the glass on the table between them. "And your pills."
"I don't think I can do that right now. Maybe we can wait a few minutes," he said, never looking at the items they were talking about.
"Okay. Do you need to rest some more?" She asked tenderly.
"No. I don't think so. I think I'd like to just talk for a while," he said and tried to sit up more but couldn't.
Joan instinctively got up from her chair and held Danny with one arm while she propped up the pillows behind him with the other. He weighed almost nothing. She gently leaned him back onto the pillows.
"Is that alright?" she asked.
"Yes. Thank you, sis," he replied with a smile.
Joan returned the smile and nodded her head as she returned to her seat.
"I had a dream just now," Danny said. Joan gave a look of interest, but did not speak. "I was a knight of the round table - Sir Daniel - and I was tall and strong like Sir Lancelot and I was questing for the Holy Grail. I had searched all over Europe and the Middle East. I had somehow come to the caves of what is now called Afghanistan - I don't know what they were called back then - and I knew that I was very close the the Grail. It was night, and I was in the cave alone, my horse was tied up outside. I had removed my armor and had lied down for rest for the evening. Suddenly, the cave was filled with an incredible light. A pure white light like nothing I had ever seen before. At first I shielded my eyes from it, but I soon learned that, rather than hurting my eyes, the light was somehow soothing to them. I quickly found the source of the great light and I saw before me a beautiful and glorious angel. She merely floated there before me, not venturing to speak to me first.
"'Who are you?' I asked the vision.
She replied, 'My name is Cassandra. I am sent to help you on your quest.'
"'You will help me to find the Holy Grail?' I asked in great wonder.
"'That is not your true quest, Sir Daniel,' she said.
"'But of course it is!' I said to her. 'That is my life's quest! It is what I have prepared all my life to do!'
"'No, Sir Daniel. That is not your life's quest. Do you seek the Grail for fame or glory?'
"'No. Of course I do not! I seek it for enlightenment and to be closer to my Lord.' I answered.
"'And do you not see that the Grail is just an object? That you can find what you are looking for wherever you are? Be it here in a cave or at home in your castle?'
"She gave no emotion to any of this. She merely hung there in the air, casting off that brilliant light. She said no more and waited on me. I thought about what she had said. I knew that she was right. I knew that the Grail was a quest that was actually taking me away from what I was truly seeking.
"I asked the angel, 'I understand. But I don't know what to do now.'
"'You will know what to do.' And there was an even more brilliant burst of light. When the light finally faded the angel was gone. I looked about and was shocked! I was back in my chambers in my own castle! My armor was lying on the floor against the wall, just as it had been the cave a moment before! I could not make any sense of this. I thought I must have dreamed about the angel and was dreaming still. I escaped from my chambers with a single candle and ran throughout the castle. No one answered. I ran down to the chapel and to the back to find the priest. I banged on his door and shouted, 'Father! Father! It is Sir Daniel! You must open up immediately!' But there came no answer so I opened the door. He was not there. His bed had not been slept in. I crossed over to the bed and fell to my knees and prayed. I prayed for forgiveness, for dedicating my life to such a material purpose. I pray for forgiveness for all the sins I had ever committed. And I cried as I prayed. Great heaving sobs of grief and anguish. I searched my heart for all those who I bore ill feelings towards and forgave each of them. I would give any one of them anything I possibly had to give them.
"And then I awoke to see you looking at my ring. Again," he said with a smile.
Joan was very moved by his story. She was holding back her tears. She looked at the ring again and could not help but let the tears silently fall. "I know that you have forgiven her, Danny. But she refuses to forgive you. Why do you wear the ring still? Why torture yourself?"
"It is not torture. It is unconditional love and it is one of the things my dream was alluding too. She does not have to love or forgive me in order for me to love and forgive her," he said with a gentle smile, hoping to encourage his sister.
to be continued...